I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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