he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
