I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You've changed since you got that strap on
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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