i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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