You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
