where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
