you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
