i just google imaged poop.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
