I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize