It's Friday. Sex?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
