now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
