Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He shit in the fireplace
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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