Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he puts the penis in happiness.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
