i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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