I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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