But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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