It's Friday. Sex?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
