we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
