Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
