He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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