Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
