ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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