I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
