I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
