A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
