who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
