Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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