Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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