Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
