i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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