I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
