remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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