Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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