yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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