So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize