did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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