Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
