Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
