i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
