So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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