best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
