You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
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holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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