Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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