All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
