I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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