Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
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I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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