So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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