i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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