they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize