So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
