I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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