There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
