Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
