after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
These tits shall not be calmed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
