dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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