I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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