Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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