i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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